Feeling some pressure

     Ok, so its been more than a week since I've updated this blog and for that I apologize. MPDing ( Support raising) isn't going so well for me.... At least when you look at the numbers. I've been meeting with a lot of very awesome individuals, and talking to quite a few people about my ministry but when I start looking at the numbers I realize I'm pretty far behind. A big part of me really wishes that money would have never came into existence. I wish I could just do what I was made to do, worshiping Christ through the talents he gave me and bringing his kingdom down the best I can at no extra work on my part. I just want to do what I enjoy and that's it. At least that's the selfish desire in me. Me just wanting everything to be hunky dory and working out at little effort on my part. These have been some of my thoughts lately. Going through this MPD process, I have realized that its actually been one of the greatest challenges in my spiritual growth. Its been very rewarding in my spiritual growth as well. Some times I forget that some of the best ways for us to grow and get closer to Christ, is to do something that is very hard and uncomfortable to do that the Lord himself has asked us to do. With this MPDing, I actually have to work, but not to much or I get caught up in trying to do everything on my own and not fully trusting in Christ.

Proverbs 3:5-6

 Trust in the LORD with all your heart
   and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him,
   and he will make your paths straight.

But I cant just sit and pray, expecting the Lord to just give me all I want. I know that Christ knows whats best for me. He knows what he is doing. Who am I to complain about my life in which Christ has made and designed, and in which Christ knows all I am and what is ultimately best for me.

Isaiah 55:8-9

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, 

   neither are your ways my ways,”
            declares the LORD.
“As the heavens are higher than the earth,
   so are my ways higher than your ways
   and my thoughts than your thoughts.

I know from personal experience that the times in which I have grown close to Christ in the greatest of ways have been through hardships and very uncomfortable situations, but not just going through them, but going through them with Christ. So going through this little thought process lately, I started complaining and whining in my heart, and the Christ went in and helped bring me back to reality, and humble me. He is really good at doing that.
    Everyone who is reading this please pray for me and pray I don't try and take thing into my own hands. Pray also that I can step it up without putting Christ on the shelf. On this same blog I will be figuring out a way to show how much support I have and how much more I need. I am not entirely sure how to do that yet but I am working on that. 

2 Corinthians 12:10

That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.